3 Years, 1095 Days.

Today is 3 years, 1095 earth days since Kimmy went to be with Jesus. I wonder how many days it feels like for her on the other side? Completely free from sin, guilt and shame, totally one with her Beloved, living in that Endless Summer of peace and joy – more alive than we are!

You can read Kimmys ‘Endless Summer’ blog post here!

I miss her dearly, her laugh, her contagious joy and mischievous nature, I think she gets that from our Dad! Her soft compassion and endless faith in humanity’s ability to be kind and reflect the nature of our Lover King Jesus, if we’d just believe.

It comes in waves and sneaks up on me sometimes, mostly when I least expect it. It’s been a journey for sure, one of learning to let it out when it comes (generally at the most inconvenient of times) and being totally ok with that. Trusting that the unconditional love and understanding of the people around me is enough to be safe and vulnerable – seen and known for who I really am in all of the moments without judging me for any of them.

I’ve been learning that when I’m messy, I’m actually ok. I am brave and strong in those moments if not even more so than when I have it all together.

She was good that – seeing the gold in people and choosing to believe the best no matter where people were at, especially me. I think she gets that from our Mum. Divine patience and unconditional love!

People felt safe with Kimmy, even if it meant that she was confronting things that were not right with the truth, it was always done in love. I miss that about her, the way she would bring a double edged sword but somehow leave you feeling like her best friend.

She was the cheekiest –righteousness convicted- person I knew, she was so funny but NEVER crossed the line! I remember often cracking a funny and hearing ‘ELLIE NOO! YOU CANT SAY THAT!’ 😂 ‘I don’t remember YOUR name being Holy Spirit!’ I’d say back and continue on my naughty-cheeky escapade making our Mum laugh. 😉

Kimmy hated reality TV, especially MAFS, she couldn’t get past the drama HOWEVER she would watch it with me because she knew I loved it! I remember watching with her one night and leaning over I started flicking her earlobe while she gritted her teeth thinking ‘she’ll get bored and stop soon surely’ BUT as you can already tell.. I didn’t 😂 I kept flicking her earlobe till she violently shook her head squirming & tried to get away! Oh how I LOVED annoying her, as every big sister should!

We had this funny joke about her ‘man scream’ whenever she was scared she would let out this part scream / mostly grunt, AKA ‘the man scream.’ We would hide and scare her just to hear it then lose our bananas laughing. 😆

Kimmy had her struggles with fear – as we all do, but what I loved about her was any time fear came knocking, she would run to her secret place with the Lord and unpack it with Him and let him shine the light of His truth into that space and bring freedom – even if it took days! Her intimacy with the Lord still inspires many in their own walks with Him, including me.

We had the gift of being able to work together for a season in the same shopping centre (different stores, same owners). We would often run into the others persons store and sabotage whatever they were working on at the time – totally undermining their leadership just for laughs.

I remember she had these UGLY shoes which she loved, and this one day she had stolen the bin of good hangers from my store, so I snuck into her store with the intention of stealing the bin back however I saw she had taken her shoes off, so I stole them AS WELL and had one of the boys put them on top of the sign near the roof.. So when she realised the hangers were missing, she ran into MY store and found the bin of hangers (still shoeless) grabbed the bin soo quick all the hangers went FLYING.. THEN she looked up and realised where her shoes were – we all lost it!!

Kimmy loved herself a giant jar of Nutella! Whenever I wanted to bless her or if I knew she’d had a tough day, I’d pop a big jar and spoon by her bed and wait for her to find it! I miss the days she would feel sad and lay on my lap while I stroked her hair until she felt better.

It’s the little things I took for granted that I now miss the most. Doing life with my best friend who saw me, who knew me inside and out, who saw my raw moments, who knew me behind closed doors AND on the stage, and chose to believe in me and see only who the Lord had called me to be. She never judged me for a moment rather she called me by my true identity – a Child of God.

That’s what you do for those you love, instead of pointing out the mess, we remind each other of the TRUTH. It’s the truth that holds the power to set people free! Truth is a person, truth is Jesus! When we really love, we allow people space and room to be real and authentic, space to make mess, to move and adapt and change and grow – space to figure it out as they go. All the while cheering ‘Yes! You’ve got this! I believe in you!’ Just like the Father does. Just like Kimmy did.

He doesn’t expect perfection, just a heart that responds ‘I love you too!’ As we hear His gentle whisper ‘Ah! But I loved you first!’

Kimmy, I love you more than words could say, I miss your presence here on earth and your endless belief in me. I can’t wait to catch up and introduce you to all the beautiful new people in my life, but until then, we have a mission here on earth – to know Him, and make Him known.

I know you’re enjoying your Endless Summer!

“Beloved brothers and sisters, we want you to be quite certain about the truth concerning those who have passed away, so that you won’t be overwhelmed with grief like many others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, we also believe that God will bring with Jesus those who died while believing in him. This is the word of the Lord: we who are alive in him and remain until the Lord appears will by no means have an advantage over those who have already died, for both will rise together.”

1 Thessalonians 4:13-15 TPT

2 Years – 730 days.

2 years. That means it’s been 730 days since I’ve seen her beautiful face and held her in my arms. 730 days of healing and saying yes to the process of learning and leaning. Leaning into the only one that can speak the truth that sets the soul free, leaning into Grace, leaning not on my own understanding but leaning into the [space] so that I HAVE to come face to face with it all – my unravelling.

We do not grieve as the world grieves (overwhelmed with grief like many others who have no hope – 1 Thes 4:13) for we DO have HOPE! The hope of salvation, the hope that after this short life has passed us by that we will stand face to face with love Himself – Jesus! A glorious reunion, see – she – is 730 days into her best life – her Endless Summer and while the space sometimes feels like the Grand Canyon and my heart aches to share my secrets, laughs & tears with her – I hold onto this glorious Hope.

HOWEVER…

I WAS struggling, my heart was carrying within it a lot of pain & disappointment. The weight of responsibility, the desire to fill the big gap where her BIG life & love was, wanting to make it better and take away all the pain I saw in the eyes of my parents & the ones who cherished her – all of the things. It hurt soo bad, it filled my heart and mind with questions I just couldn’t seem to work through.

The accuser is really good at accusing – accusing the Lord, selling the lie that he’s not good, and accusing me – repeatedly pushing ‘Its all your fault!’ And boy did I feel it! I knew it wasn’t the truth, my spirit KNEW he is and always has been good but my heart desperately needed a face to face with truth. I contended for this encounter for a long time and while I waited, I chose. I chose Him. I chose to come to him instead of run from Him. I chose to worship when my heart hurt. I chose to stay soft and open. I chose to unravel instead of self preserve. I chose to lay all my questions at the feet of Jesus without needing the answers. I chose to come to my only life line – where else would I go!?

There’s only ONE who hasn’t left me as the days have rolled on and life for most has ‘returned to normal’.. There’s only One who knows me inside & out, only One who paid the highest price not only to buy me back forever, but to FREE me (and Kimmy) from the consequences of sin and death forever making my heart His home and temple! What kind of King leaves his throne for a sinner and HimSELF exchanges all he is for all we are to make us compatible with Him – Holy forever!?

It has been a journey. One of processing pain, exchanging lies for truth and allowing love to come close enough to heal. But better we walk ‘through’ the valley of the shadow of death with the Shepherd then get stuck in the valley forever!?

She won the race, the baton has been passed now it’s our turn to run the next leg! We don’t know how many more days we will have to add to our own tally here on earth, so lets not take even a single one for granted.

Choose not to self protect.
Choose to be vulnerable.
Choose healing over pain.
Choose joy.
Choose peace.
Choose forgiveness.
Choose life.
Choose to live it!
Choose extravagant love.
Choose to receive love.
Choose to be love.
Choose the One who IS love.

Jesus.

Kimmy was and is now soo much like Jesus, she loved without restraint, she laid down her life daily, she shared the Gospel – the good news intentionally, she choose joy and lit up every room she walked in with her cheeky eyes and mischievous joy-filled smile. She looked just like Him. I love and miss her more than words can say but thanks to the healing touch of our Abba Father I can say it’s been 730 days of healing, letting go, forgiving myself, receiving forgiveness and celebrating her Wonder-filled life.

Today is a celebration and I choose to celebrate her with JOY! Today we dance, like she loved to, we adventure like she did and we love – just like Jesus.

Now it’s your turn to go..
& in your going, make disciples.

If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one and have struggled to let go of the pain, if you feel stuck in the valley, I declare over you today that you have permission to start walking again. You have permission to heal, to turn around and face Jesus. I declare that loss no longer shapes, potters or defines you – Jesus does! If you need a chat and a cheeky prayer sesh, we are all keen to hear from you. ❤

The veil that separates us from eternity is VERY thin, so let’s look forward to our glorious reunion when we put off our earthly dwelling and embrace again, and in the mean time let’s link arms & stand at the gates of hell to redirect traffic!

It’s time to let Jesus heal you, it’s time to let love close enough to reveal you and set you free!

Don’t give up, your freedom is here..

All my love
Chantelle
xx

“For we will discard our mortal “clothes” and slip into a body that is imperishable. What is mortal now will be exchanged for immortality. And when that which is mortal puts on immortality, and what now decays is exchanged for what will never decay, then the Scripture will be fulfilled that says: Death is swallowed up by a triumphant victory! So death, tell me, where is your victory? Tell me death, where is your sting? It is sin that gives death its sting and the law that gives sin its power. But we thank God for giving us the victory as conquerors through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. So now, beloved ones, stand firm, stable, and enduring. Live your lives with an unshakable confidence. We know that we prosper and excel in every season by serving the Lord, because we are assured that our union with the Lord makes our labor productive with fruit that endures.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭15:53-58‬ ‭TPT‬‬

For those of you who don’t know, Kimmy wrote an incredibly beautiful piece of writing about a month before the accident and titled it ‘Endless Summer’ here is the link if you’d like to read it! x





Dates & Waves

Dates. There’s always dates, moments – momentous spaces in history where significant hearts collide with existence on earth.

Waves, I’ve learned to ride them. Not with a surf board (although one day I will) but with tears that expose the great depths of love we have for another. They expose the impact one soul has had on another, the pain one feels with the absence and space that person once filled and the memories they’ve left behind. Memories that once brought immense joy, now hold with them a sting that reminds us we’re still here, we’re still breathing, we’re still alive.

We’re still alive.

And so is she. She is more alive than she’s ever been, more alive than we are right now. Alive in the arms of the one who created her and forever holds her heart and affection.

Some days.. most days I feel like Paul when he addressed the Philippians:

‘For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live..’ Philippians 1:21-24 NLT

And so I live.

My heart misses her, my bestie, my partner in crime, my Nutella eating, movie watching, adventure seeking, bike riding, Jesus dancing – everything buddy. And that’s ok. Why wouldn’t it be? She loved like Jesus, and that changed me. Watching up close how she forgave, pursued, surrendered, loved and enjoyed Jesus and the people around her first hand. She was the real deal.

Her life was a gift that collided in a moment with existence on earth. June 4th, the next set of waves.

I found myself saying ‘It hurts so much! I don’t want to feel disappointed but I’m SOOO disappointed!’ And all at once I felt the Father correct me saying ‘It’s ok to feel this way, you love Kimmy deeply and that kind of love looks like something. I’m a good Father and Ill sit here and hold you till you’re finished.’

I do know the truth, and that’s where I live my life, its where I’ve set up camp and anchored myself – the truth is SHE MADE IT. She’s forever safe, more alive than me! The truth is we don’t grieve as the world grieves (as those who have no hope – 1 Thessalonians 4:13) we have hope because we KNOW we’ll be gloriously reunited one day. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss her everyday, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, it DOES mean I will not use that as permission to stay prisoner somewhere Jesus died to set me free from! ‘Though I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of DEATH I will fear NO evil!’ (Psalm 23).

This week I started wondering whether I was ‘too much,’ if the way I love is ‘too intense’ or ‘over the top’ but I found myself in John 15 where God reminded me that actually I just look like a really good reflection of Him!

“So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends… So this is my parting command: Love one another deeply!” John 15:12-13, 17 TPT

Love, that kind of love, always looks like something. It’s kindness in action, it’s always present and endlessly patient. If you were to ask me what Kim was like, I would tell you she looked like love.

She also looked like a whole heap of mischief, cheeky, authentic, deep, joyful, contagious fun. Kimberly, my tiny dancer – the colours of your life continue to dance through ours and into the next..

See you soon..

until then, we’re alive.

Mountain or Molehill

It’s hard to find purpose when we don’t understand the season, I haven’t understood the season God has had me in and I’d allowed it to steal my joy!

I’m such a visionary, a go getter, that I desire to see purpose, to put my hand to something that’s going to leave a lasting impact on the earth when I’m gone…

But what about today?

God once told me, ‘Chantelle it takes more faith to believe – that’s – who you are in THIS moment, when ‘nothing’s’ happening.’

Yeah cool, thanks for that Lord!

Ok. So what does it look like to remember, and believe – that I’m a Revivalist, a freedom fighter, a carrier of joy, a Holy Ghost terrorist right now? I can see that joy has become a foreign concept in the body of Christ.. yet 1/3 of the Kingdom is joy!? I believe the key to staying in hope, faith and freedom is remembering how to be joyful!

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans 14:17 ESV

Sometimes we pay way too much attention to things that don’t bring joy and life, and the more attention we give it, the bigger and uglier it gets! It’s a JOY-KILLER!

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 ESV

A couple weeks ago, I was really down, I was thinking about things that aren’t lovely, pure, excellent or true! I’d allowed lies to impact my thought life – even hopelessness about losing my sister! But the truth is, she’s with Jesus! And I WILL see her again! She’s where she wants to be! Where WE want to be! That’s not hopeless! That’s HOPE-FILLED!

But I wasn’t successfully coming to that on my own, so I txt a couple of trusted friends and asked them to pray for me, for perspective and truth!.. One of my close girlfriends from Brisbane then FaceTimed me, and you know what? She didn’t pay it any attention. She wasn’t interested in hearing or talking about the sob story. In fact, we are ice cream together over FaceTime and talked about life, about ice cream flavours and stupid things that made us laugh. And that’s exactly what I needed. The next morning I woke up and I was completely fine.

I had been focusing on, making bigger, and empowering the wrong thing. I’d forgotten the goodness of God and allowed life to speak louder than the kindness of a Good Father.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” Philippians 4:4 ESV

Paul wasn’t silly. He knew it was good for the Philippians to hear it over and over, and they knew for Paul to say something twice meant they needed to pay attention!

Re-joice and again re-joice! Choose joy, and practise being joyful! And keep on practising! It IS a choice! It’s a gift that needs to be in-wrapped again and again! God is ALWAYS full of joy.. and He is ALIVE on the inside of us! 

Why? Spoiler alert: WE WIN!

AT THE END OF THE BOOK – WE WIN!

Death has been defeated! We have unbroken undefiled communion with a kind Father! We get to tell all His kids! WE WIN!

That’s something to be happy about!

I love watching Steve Harvey clips ‘Ask Steve’ – HES SO FUNNY! The questions people ask him, and the responses he gives – I can’t help but laugh! Practise joy! It doesn’t have to seem spiritual!

My mum will often sing to me ‘I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart… where?!..’ and it makes me smile! Even when I don’t feel like it.. Because it’s true! God is in there! He hasn’t left! Sometimes I just forget how happy He is!

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies…

…For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, 17-18 ESV

They were being persecuted – really persecuted within inches of life, yet they weren’t driven to despair! Why? Because they KNEW how thin the veil that separates us from eternity with God is! They understood – in LIFE – I WIN, in DEATH – I WIN! We can’t lose! They kept an eternal perspective!

Yesterday I played Godfrey Birtill’s song ‘R U Ready’ and my dad came into my room and started dancing, so I jumped up, and we danced the song out from start to finish! Twice! We re-peated joy! We re-joiced! And you know how we felt afterwards?.. HAPPY!

I dare you to try it! We don’t need to understand, we don’t have to know, we don’t need to be in control!

Look at the kids that dance around everyone out the front at Sunday church, do you think they care what everyone’s thinking of them? NO! Let’s be more like them! Let go!

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Psalm 100:4

If you feel (feel because it’s not the truth) far from God, give thanks for all the good things He’s done and every time He’s come through for you! Write a list of 5 things everyday that you can be thankful for! 

Practise joy today!

Keep an eternal perspective!

Remember WE WIN!

HAVE THE BEST, JOY FILLED DAY!

                                                                               🌻

It’s a Choice – Life is Short.

How do I even start?

This week I received the devastating news that a good friend and co-worker had passed away.

Does my heart hurt? Yes.
Do I understand? No.

But what I do understand is this..
Life is short. So short in fact that we can be here one moment, and gone the next.

I know, I have been there, I’ve experienced it first hand.

It’s sobering, a wake up call. How much hurt and unnecessary pain do we hold onto? How many offences are we unwilling to cover with grace?

It’s actually not ok.

Once, I was in an incredibly painful position, I had been accused of something so wild that wasn’t even true, and it was even taken to my Pastors at the time, I could have had to say goodbye to everything I felt God call me to! Was I hurt? YOU BET, was I angry? You wouldn’t even know!

I was FUMING!
But one of my pastors said to me ‘oh Chantelle, looks like you have a bit of an attitude towards ______’

Oh really?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Thanks for pointing out the obvious!?
I thought I had forgiven him, but there was still bitterness in my heart and an attitude towards him. My Pastor then told me I had no choice but to forgive. So, I wailed, not just the tears rolling down the cheeks kind of cry, but the ugly face kind of cry, then I would burst out laughing, then I’d cry / laugh at the same time, then I’d cry then laugh again.

Why?
My internal dialogue was this:

Me: I DONT WANT TO FORGIVE
Lord: But remember how much I’ve forgiven you of?
Me: BUT I DONT WANT TO
Lord: Do you want to be free?
Me: HE DOESNT DESERVE FORGIVENESS
Lord: Do you?
Me: BUT LORD WHAT HE DID WAS AWFUL
Lord: But do you remember how much I’ve forgiven you?..

This went on for at least an hour, my Pastor holding my hand – definitely thinking ‘what a weirdo!’ God won the argument (obviously).. (after an hour) and I forgave and chose my own freedom, and I genuinely love that person and even have a great relationship with them now!

Holding on to un-forgiveness and bitterness is like giving your freedom away to the other person. Joyce Meyer says,

‘Un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die’.

Is it easy? No, but it is a choice. Sometimes when I would see that person, I would feel a rage of emotion about to erupt like a volcano but my spiritual dad would say to me, ‘Chantelle, you have to remind yourself that you’ve already forgiven, and choose love.’

Around the start of this year, I hired a new young lady to work with me, she turned out to be a beautiful friend. I was blessed to be able to share the real Jesus with her and lead her into relationship with Him. She is now in paradise with Him. It was sudden and unexpected but I am so deeply thankful that God trusted me with His daughter, to share the truth and see her in eternal life with Him.

How many people are in your world right now that need a little light? Don’t wait till tomorrow to share the goodness of our Kind Father! Step out! Be courageous! Let go of your fear of rejection, THEY CANT REJECT YOU WHEN THE FATHER HAS ACCEPTED YOU! When I shared His love for my beautiful friend, she sobbed all day and was filled with joy!

We don’t know how many people’s salvation are on the other side of our ‘yes’. We are here, on earth for that very reason!

KEEP AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE!

Love and keep on loving! Share and keep on sharing! Shine and keep on shining! Forgive! And keep on forgiving! May our life’s story be ‘no matter what they did towards me, I never changed the way I loved them.’

THATS grace. THATS the gospel. THATS Jesus.

Unconditional love.
Without strings attached.
It’s KINDNESS that leads man to repentance. (Romans 2:4)

Forgiveness also allows us to see people for who they really are in the eyes of God, not for the mistake they made, or a season they’ve walked through, or the pain they once carried.

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. 2 Corinthians 2:5-

How many people have left community because they’ve been overwhelmed with sorrow that their actions have caused pain? I’m not giving permission for poor behaviour, but what I am saying, is that ‘forgiveness restores the standard.’ (Danny Silk) AND to withhold forgiveness is to be outwitted by satan?!?! (vs 11).

Love is the mark of true maturity. (Colossians 3:14)
Are we truely mature?
Does this really matter? Is this eternal?
If the answer is ‘no’ then, LET IT GO!

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:13-17

Life is sometimes – most times, unexpected, short, BUT it’s also a gift. We can’t bank on tomorrow, we don’t know what tomorrow holds.

Do the people you love, know you love them? Have the people in your world heard the good news? Do they know there’s a Kind Father who loves them without condition?

Step out! Love someone today. Forgive someone today. Be a light somewhere today! Let God heal your heart and make a decision to ‘never change the way you love’ someone no matter what.

They might be here today, but what about tomorrow?..

Endless Summer

Written by Kimberly Wilks

January 27, 2019

I close my eyes, and breathe in deep. As fresh oxygen fills my lungs, I sit in this pocket of bliss – taking in the raw tracks through wild country that lye before me. On my left, raging blue and green expanses of fierce uncharted waters. On my right, deep green melts into blues and vast hues of purple yellow and orange as the sun sets over mountain ranges which are covered in wild pine and oak trees. Before me – untamed, uncharted and uninhibited land. The greatest adventure yet. I hear my beloved’s whisper “Welcome to the Endless Summer”.

Hope fills and overwhelms every fibre of my being as I begin to ponder His whisper – this great adventure. The summer that never ends. Memories of summers past flood my mind and bring with them familiar feelings of the bliss I encountered in the midst of these adventures. Permission to play puts my heart at ease and releases tension I didn’t realise I was carrying. As I continue to ponder, I sense a deepening awareness that this summer is wildly different from all the rest. This adventure is not just a seasonal invitation for pockets of peace and moments of bliss – it’s an invitation to stay. It’s not merely a break from the stress and pressure of the world – but complete and utter freedom from it… forever.

This extravagant act of an invested lover reveals a deep kindness in his nature that melts my heart and draws me to engage with him. This invitation not only releases me from every kind of heaviness my soul has ever known, but it liberates my heart to begin to engage in the real adventure – the endless pursuit of a Lover King who has obliterated the power of everything that once separated my heart from his. This Lover King who did everything in his power to close the gap. Who saw that it wasn’t enough to simply be with me in the flesh –  he had to be closer than that. He had to make a home in my heart. To be close in every moment- and take care of me from the inside out. I begin to realise that nearness has always been his goal. Every move he’s ever made has been towards me. A fierce intentionality fills his every gesture. His motivation – simply to be near.

Finally, the fight is over. Peace is no longer a substance to obtain..or something I can loose. It’s not running away from me. He’s running towards me. No longer to do I need to fight to preserve my freedom, my rights, my joy or my peace. Once upon a time, my every effort was geared towards finding joy, bliss, peace and pleasure..and keeping it. Preserving it. Fear ruled my choices because the slightest change in my surroundings would threaten my internal experience of peace and joy. The gift of this kind lover – the Endless Summer – is the freedom from the fight. No longer am I motivated to preserve my peace – for it can no longer be threatened by surrounding circumstances. The gift of the Endless Summer is the gift He has fought for with His life. It’s the oasis of constant nearness to the one who loves me like no other. All the energy I once used to preserve my heart, is now free to simply engage in the beautiful one. The one who saw fit to gift my heart with this outrageous freedom – for freedoms sake. With no other motive in his heart, and no strings attached. Simply – enjoy the gift of being wildly and wonderfully free. Suddenly striving becomes a fickle idea as it’s exposed for what it really is – the subtle but deadly belief that the heart of Jesus is passive about me in some way. How could I add to what he has already done? Do I really believe that my desire to be free could outweigh the strength of his desire for me to be free? The war is over. He has created an eternal place of internal rest for a soul that only knew how to fight. A safe space of wild freedom that liberates every fibre of my being from every ounce of fight for me and turns my heart to fight for others.

I breathe in deep, and behold the last glimmer of golden sun as it sets over the last of the hills. My heart leaps within me as I contemplate the end of a life of working-to-rest, and the beginning of the Endless Summer. A life anchored in the depths of my lovers heart – free from the fight of all i’ve ever known. Free from fear. As I take one last glance at the setting sun, I feel the thrill of my Father as he ushers me into the dawn of the best day I’ve ever had. I hear his whisper once again..

“Welcome, my dear, to the Endless Summer…”